moparstuart
Well-Known Member
Now I'd say this "Red Neck" is one smart cookie!!!!
DO YOU KNOW THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A TREE?
A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL
ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.
WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO
MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST
FIND A JOB!!!!
HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE
AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED
LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST
HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST,
THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE
FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH
HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND
POINTS AT A TREE "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?
I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND
HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT
CONTAINS."
THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE,
383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER."
THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION
AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS
AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW
AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A
BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.
"THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR
BOARD FEET."
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY,
HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT
WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!
ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE
ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN.. THIS TIME, HE
POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER
SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS,
"WHITE OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST."
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS
THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE IS. AS THEY NEAR
THE OFFICE, ANOTHER FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND
ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.
HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM,
"SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?" "I WANT YOU TO MARK
AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!"
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW
WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A
CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES
UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.
HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK.
"THAT THAR'S THE FRONT," THE REDNECK SAYS.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY,
"HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF
THE TREE?"
THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE
RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE
GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A
SHIT BEHIND IT!"
HE GOT THE JOB.
DO YOU KNOW THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A TREE?
A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL
ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.
WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO
MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST
FIND A JOB!!!!
HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE
AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED
LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST
HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST,
THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE
FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH
HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND
POINTS AT A TREE "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?
I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND
HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT
CONTAINS."
THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE,
383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER."
THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION
AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS
AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW
AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A
BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.
"THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR
BOARD FEET."
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY,
HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT
WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!
ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE
ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN.. THIS TIME, HE
POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER
SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS,
"WHITE OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST."
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS
THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE IS. AS THEY NEAR
THE OFFICE, ANOTHER FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND
ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.
HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM,
"SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?" "I WANT YOU TO MARK
AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!"
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW
WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A
CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES
UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.
HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK.
"THAT THAR'S THE FRONT," THE REDNECK SAYS.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY,
"HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF
THE TREE?"
THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE
RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE
GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A
SHIT BEHIND IT!"
HE GOT THE JOB.
