take on tiger woods

[moparstuart]

What's the difference between an Escalade and a golf ball? Tiger can't drive an Escalade 300 yards.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

When asked by the police how many times she hit Tiger, Elin replied "I'm not sure, put me down for a 5"

Typical.....whenever a golfer hits a tree, he blames it on his Caddie.

What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common? Both were clubbed by a Norwegian.

There are two sides to this story: The black bought the escalade. The asian, hit the tree...

I don't know what Elin is so pissed about? He's supposed to play 19 holes not just two or three

I wonder what Buick is going to think about him wrecking an Escalade

 

[69hemibeep]

Those didn't take long to come out :rimshot:

 

[george68hemirr]

and his answer was once you get married the sex stops

 

[Basketcase]

wifey can't be too bad off.......she just had a 6 or 7 (was coming home from midnight when I heard this) figure check deposited into her "private" account, and a new prenup.

 

[mcmopar]

and his answer was once you get married the sex stops

What a moron...

 

[moparstuart]

Whats the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?





Santa stops at 3 ho's

 

[george68hemirr]

Whats the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?





Santa stops at 3 ho's

thats good i like that ....more to come
signed.... the manwhore tiger in your tank

 

[3BIRDS1X]

Best one I heard is he's changing his name from Tiger to "Cheetah"

 

[moparstuart]

Tiger Woods’ Holiday Poem***

**‘Twas the night of Thanksgiving**
**and out of the house**
**Tiger Woods, he came flying**
**Chased by his spouse.**

**She wielded a 9 iron**
**And wasn’t too merry**
**‘cause a bimbo’s phone #**
**she found on his blackberry.**

**He had been cheating **
**On poor little Elin,**
**and as each day went by**
**Another whore came out squeallin’**

**He’d been on Holly, on Jamie**
**On Rachel, on Corey,**
**On Joslyn, Kaleeka**
**TMZ had the story.**

**From the top of the world **
**To above the fold**
**Tiger’s ever more sordid **
**Tale it was told.**

**With hostesses, waitresses**
**He had lots of sex,**
**And when he wasn’t hosin’ ‘em**
**He sent ‘em hot texts.**

**He crashed his Caddie**
**But didn’t call On-Star**
**He played “spank me Daddy’**
**With a skanky old porn star**

**He’s been naughty **
**With Santa, he hasn’t a chance,**
**‘cept a big lump of coal**
**to match the lump in his pants.**

**But despite all his crying **
**And begging and pleadin’**
**His wife went right out**
**And bought a new house in Sweden.**

**And I heard her exclaim**
**As she packed up the escalade**
**‘If you’re gonna get laid,**
**Then, I’m gonna get paid!”**

**Now, she’s not pouting**
**In fact, she’s of good cheer**
**Her Pre-nup made Christmas**
**Come early this year!***