moparstuart
Well-Known Member
WIT and WISDOM ON MARIAGE
"He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house." Zsa Zsa Gabor
"It's not a good idea to put your wife into a novel; not your latest wife anyway." Noaman Mailer
"What do I know about sex? I'm a maried man." Tom Clancy
"Always get maried in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day." Mickey Rooney
"Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done." Burt Reynolds
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?" George Carlin
"I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year." Bette Davis
"My advice is to get married; If you find a good wife you'll be happy; If not, you'll become a philosopher." Socrates
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end" Catherine Zeta-Jones
"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." Benjamin Franklin
"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam." Johnny Carson
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." Erma Bombeck
"I married beneath me, all women do." Nancy Astor
"My toughest wife was with my first wife." Muhammed Ali
"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner." Red Skelton
"Half a loafer is better than no husband at all" Louis Safian
"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house." Lewis Grizzard
For a while we ponderred whether to take a vacation or get divorced. We decided a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."
Woddy Allen
"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." Zsa Zsa Gabor
"In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting 50% of publicity." Lauren Bacall
"Don't forget Mothers Day, or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day." Jay Leno
"I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming." Ray
"He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house." Zsa Zsa Gabor
"It's not a good idea to put your wife into a novel; not your latest wife anyway." Noaman Mailer
"What do I know about sex? I'm a maried man." Tom Clancy
"Always get maried in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day." Mickey Rooney
"Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done." Burt Reynolds
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?" George Carlin
"I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year." Bette Davis
"My advice is to get married; If you find a good wife you'll be happy; If not, you'll become a philosopher." Socrates
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end" Catherine Zeta-Jones
"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." Benjamin Franklin
"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam." Johnny Carson
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." Erma Bombeck
"I married beneath me, all women do." Nancy Astor
"My toughest wife was with my first wife." Muhammed Ali
"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner." Red Skelton
"Half a loafer is better than no husband at all" Louis Safian
"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house." Lewis Grizzard
For a while we ponderred whether to take a vacation or get divorced. We decided a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."
Woddy Allen
"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." Zsa Zsa Gabor
"In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting 50% of publicity." Lauren Bacall
"Don't forget Mothers Day, or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day." Jay Leno
"I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming." Ray
