george68hemirr
I think you guys are full of shit.
Humor from Minnesota
MINNESOTA HUMOR
n their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his
and on Lena 's knee. Giggling, Lena said, 'Ole, you can go farther than
hat if you vant to.' So Ole drove to Duluth .
UTHOUSE PROBLEMS
hen Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately
hrew in his watch and billfold. He explained, 'I'm not going down dere
ust for 50 cents.'
HAT'S HER !
Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up.
s the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, 'Yep, dat's her!'
SWIM COMPETITION
Swedish woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the
reast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The
renchwoman came in first, the Englishwoman second. The Swede reached
hore completely exhausted.
fter being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, 'I don't
ant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used der arms.'
AMOUS INVENTIONS
he Swedes invented the toilet seat.
wenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it.
VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE
wo Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with
nly one fish. 'The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400' said the
irst Norwegian 'Vell,' said the other one, 'At dat price it's a good
ing ve didn't catch any more.'
AR RIDDLE
Swede took a trip to Fargo , North Dakota . While in a bar, an Indian
n the next stool spoke to him in a friendly manner ... 'Look,' he said,
let's have a game if you answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink, if you can't,
hen you buy ME one, Okay?' 'Ya, dat sounds purty good,' said the Swede.
he Indian said, 'My father and my mother had one child. It wasn't my
rother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?' The Swede scratched his head
nd finally said, 'I give up. Who vas it?' 'It was ME,' chortled the
ndian. So the Swede paid for the drinks.
Back in Sioux Falls the Swede went into a bar and spotted one of his
ronies, 'Sven,' he said, 'I got a game. If you can answer a qvestion, I
uy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to buy ME vun. Fair enough?'
Fair enough,' said Sven. Okay . . .. my fadder and mudder had vun
hild. It vasn't my brudder, It vasn't my sister, Who vas it?' 'Search
e, ' said Sven. 'I give up. Who vas it?' 'It vas some Indian up in
argo, Nort Dakoda.'
INGERNAILS
ne day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured
er nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. 'Good
racious,' said Hilda, 'How did yew ever dew that?' 'It vas really
imple,' was Lena 's reply ... 'I yust hid his false teeth.'
HE RELATIONS
le and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One
vening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached
ver and patted Lena on her knee. ' Lena , vat ever happened tew our sex
elations?' He asked. 'Vell, Ole, I yust don't know,' replied Lena . 'I
on't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas.'
MUSIC SOLUTION
le bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars
nquired how she was doing with it.
Oh,' said Ole, 'I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet.' 'How come?'
sked Lars.
Vell,' Ole answered, 'because vith a clarinet, she can't sing.
HE PRANK CALL The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and
ena are in bed and Ole answers. 'Vell how da hell should I know, dats
wo tousand miles from here' he says and hangs up. 'Who vas dat?' asks
ena . 'I donno, some fool wanting to know if da coast vas clear.
THE POLICE
le was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of
he little town of Minnetonka , Minnesota . The policeman, who was a
ood friend of Ole's said,'Ole...What in the world are you doing? Where
re your clothes? You're naked.' 'Yah, I know,' said Ole. 'You see, I
as over to dat 'playboy' Swen's for his birthday party. Dere vas about
8 of us. Der vas boys and girls.' 'Is that right?', his policeman
riend asked. 'Yah, Yah, anyvay, dat Swen, he says, 'Everybody get into
he bedroom!'So vee all go into the bedroom....where den he yells,
Everybody git naked!' 'Vel, vee all got undressed. Den he yells,
Everybody go to town!' I guess I'm the first one here.
MINNESOTA HUMOR
n their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his
and on Lena 's knee. Giggling, Lena said, 'Ole, you can go farther than
hat if you vant to.' So Ole drove to Duluth .
UTHOUSE PROBLEMS
hen Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately
hrew in his watch and billfold. He explained, 'I'm not going down dere
ust for 50 cents.'
HAT'S HER !
Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up.
s the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, 'Yep, dat's her!'
SWIM COMPETITION
Swedish woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the
reast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The
renchwoman came in first, the Englishwoman second. The Swede reached
hore completely exhausted.
fter being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, 'I don't
ant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used der arms.'
AMOUS INVENTIONS
he Swedes invented the toilet seat.
wenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it.
VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE
wo Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with
nly one fish. 'The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400' said the
irst Norwegian 'Vell,' said the other one, 'At dat price it's a good
ing ve didn't catch any more.'
AR RIDDLE
Swede took a trip to Fargo , North Dakota . While in a bar, an Indian
n the next stool spoke to him in a friendly manner ... 'Look,' he said,
let's have a game if you answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink, if you can't,
hen you buy ME one, Okay?' 'Ya, dat sounds purty good,' said the Swede.
he Indian said, 'My father and my mother had one child. It wasn't my
rother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?' The Swede scratched his head
nd finally said, 'I give up. Who vas it?' 'It was ME,' chortled the
ndian. So the Swede paid for the drinks.
Back in Sioux Falls the Swede went into a bar and spotted one of his
ronies, 'Sven,' he said, 'I got a game. If you can answer a qvestion, I
uy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to buy ME vun. Fair enough?'
Fair enough,' said Sven. Okay . . .. my fadder and mudder had vun
hild. It vasn't my brudder, It vasn't my sister, Who vas it?' 'Search
e, ' said Sven. 'I give up. Who vas it?' 'It vas some Indian up in
argo, Nort Dakoda.'
INGERNAILS
ne day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured
er nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. 'Good
racious,' said Hilda, 'How did yew ever dew that?' 'It vas really
imple,' was Lena 's reply ... 'I yust hid his false teeth.'
HE RELATIONS
le and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One
vening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached
ver and patted Lena on her knee. ' Lena , vat ever happened tew our sex
elations?' He asked. 'Vell, Ole, I yust don't know,' replied Lena . 'I
on't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas.'
MUSIC SOLUTION
le bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars
nquired how she was doing with it.
Oh,' said Ole, 'I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet.' 'How come?'
sked Lars.
Vell,' Ole answered, 'because vith a clarinet, she can't sing.
HE PRANK CALL The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and
ena are in bed and Ole answers. 'Vell how da hell should I know, dats
wo tousand miles from here' he says and hangs up. 'Who vas dat?' asks
ena . 'I donno, some fool wanting to know if da coast vas clear.
THE POLICE
le was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of
he little town of Minnetonka , Minnesota . The policeman, who was a
ood friend of Ole's said,'Ole...What in the world are you doing? Where
re your clothes? You're naked.' 'Yah, I know,' said Ole. 'You see, I
as over to dat 'playboy' Swen's for his birthday party. Dere vas about
8 of us. Der vas boys and girls.' 'Is that right?', his policeman
riend asked. 'Yah, Yah, anyvay, dat Swen, he says, 'Everybody get into
he bedroom!'So vee all go into the bedroom....where den he yells,
Everybody git naked!' 'Vel, vee all got undressed. Den he yells,
Everybody go to town!' I guess I'm the first one here.
