moparstuart
Well-Known Member
This is so hilarious, # 11 and #12 is my favorite.
Subject: Fw: DC airport ticket agent
> >
>
> A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in
> trouble!
>
> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
> her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an
> airplane!)
>
> 2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
> Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
> information, and then she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to
> make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts .''
> Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is
> in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''
> Her response -- click.
>
> 3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
> package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando .
> He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's
> not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
> He replied, "don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very
> thin state!'' (OMG)
>
> 4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it possible
> > to see England from Canada ?''
> I said, ''No.''
> She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
>
> 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent
> a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a
> 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car,
> he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
> between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
>
> 6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how
> it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to
> Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
> I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she
> couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her
> the plane went fast, and she bought that.
>
> 7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your
> physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs
> to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
> She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
> on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very
> rude!''
> After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was
> dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for
> Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just
> putting a destination tag on her luggage.
>
> 8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .
> After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to
> fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
> 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
> ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
> I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
> flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
>
> 10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola ,
> Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
> I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
>
> She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
>
> 11.. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
> needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about
> passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't.
> I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
> I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told
> him this he said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time
> they have accepted my American Express!''
>
> 12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want
> to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ''
> I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the
> name of the town?'' "Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the lady.
> After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up
> every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
> ''The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
> Check your map!''
> So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You
> don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
> The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
>
>
> Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
>
> Could anyone be this DUMB?
>
> YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
>
Subject: Fw: DC airport ticket agent
> >
>
> A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in
> trouble!
>
> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
> her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an
> airplane!)
>
> 2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
> Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
> information, and then she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to
> make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts .''
> Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is
> in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''
> Her response -- click.
>
> 3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
> package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando .
> He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's
> not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
> He replied, "don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very
> thin state!'' (OMG)
>
> 4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it possible
> > to see England from Canada ?''
> I said, ''No.''
> She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
>
> 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent
> a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a
> 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car,
> he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
> between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
>
> 6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how
> it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to
> Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
> I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she
> couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her
> the plane went fast, and she bought that.
>
> 7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your
> physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs
> to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
> She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
> on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very
> rude!''
> After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was
> dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for
> Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just
> putting a destination tag on her luggage.
>
> 8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .
> After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to
> fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
> 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
> ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
> I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
> flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
>
> 10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola ,
> Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
> I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
>
> She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
>
> 11.. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
> needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about
> passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't.
> I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
> I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told
> him this he said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time
> they have accepted my American Express!''
>
> 12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want
> to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ''
> I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the
> name of the town?'' "Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the lady.
> After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up
> every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
> ''The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
> Check your map!''
> So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You
> don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
> The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
>
>
> Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
>
> Could anyone be this DUMB?
>
> YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
>
